Extract: Call Us What We Carry by Amanda Gorman

This entry was posted on 06 December 2021.

Including 'The Hill We Climb,' the stirring poem read at the inauguration of the 46th President of the United States, Joe Biden, Amanda Gorman's remarkable new collection reveals an energizing and unforgettable poetic voice. Call Us What We Carry is Gorman at her finest. Bursting with musical language and exploring themes of identity, grief, and memory, this lyric of hope and healing captures an important moment in our collective consciousness while being utterly timeless.

 


 

FUGUE

Don’t get us wrong.

We do pound for what has passed,

But more so all that we passed by—

Unthanking, unknowing,

When what we had was ours.

 

There was another gap that choked us:

The simple gift of farewell.

Goodbye, by which we say to another—

Thanks for offering your life into mine.

By Goodbye, we truly mean:

Let us be able to say hello again.

 

This is edgeless doubt:

Every cough seemed catastrophe,

Every proximate person a potential peril.

We mapped each sneeze & sniffle,

Certain the virus we had run away from

Was now running through us.

 

We slept the days down.

We wept the year away,

Frayed & afraid.

 

Perhaps that is what it means

To breathe & die in this flesh.

Forgive us,

For we have walked

Th is before.

 

History flickered in

& out of our vision,

A movie our eyelids

Staggered through.

 

We added a thousand false steps

To our walk tracker today

Because every step we’ve taken

Has required more than we had to give.

 

In such eternal nature,

We spent days as the walking dead,

Dreading disease & disaster.

We cowered, bone-shriveled

As a laurel in drought, our throats

Made of frantic workings,

Feet falling over themselves

Like famished fawns.

We awaited horrors,

Building up leviathans before they arose.

We could not pull our heads

From the raucous deep.

Anxiety is a living body,

Poised beside us like a shadow.

It is the last creature standing,

Th e only beast who loves us

Enough to stay.

 

We were already thousands

Of deaths into the year.

Every time we fell heart-first into the news,

Head-first, dread-first,

Our bodies tight & tensed with what now?

Yet who has the courage to inquire what if?

 

What hope shall we shelter

Within us like a secret,

Second smile,

Private & pure.

 

Sorry if we’re way less friendly —*

We had COVID tryna end things.

Even now handshakes & hugs are like gifts,

Something we are shocked to grant, be granted.

& so, we forage for anything

That feels like this:

The click in our lung that ties us to strangers,

How when among those we care for most

We shift with instinct,

Like the flash of a school of fish.

Our regard for one another

Not tumored,

   Just transformed.

 

By Hello, we mean:

Let us not say goodbye again.

There is someone we would die for.

Feel that fierce, unshifting truth,

That braced & ready sacrifice.

That’s what love does:

It makes a fact faced beyond fear.

We have lost too much to lose.

We lean against each other again,

The way water bleeds into itself.

This glassed hour, paused,

Bursts like a loaded star,

Belonging always to us.

What more must we believe in.

 

* In fact, levels of social trust have been in a steep decline in the United States. See David Brooks. Strikingly, a 2021 study suggests that the descendants of the survivors of the 1918 influenza epidemic experienced lowered social trust. See Arnstein Aassve et al.

 


 

SCHOOL’S OUT

The announcement

Swung blunt as an axe-blow:

All students were to leave

Campus as soon as possible.

We think we cried,

Our brains bleached blank.

We were already trying to forget

What we would live.

What we would give.

* * *

Beware the ides of March.

We recognized that something ran

Rampant as a rumor

Among our ranks.

Cases bleeding closer,

Like spillage in a napkin.

There is nothing more worrisome

Than a titan who believes itself

Separate from the world.

* * *

Graduation day.

We don’t need a gown.

We don’t need a stage.

We are walking beside our ancestors,

Their drums roar for us,

Their feet stomp at our life.

There is power in being robbed

& still choosing to dance.

 


 

THERE’S NO POWER LIKE HOME

We were sick of home,

Home sick.

Th at mask around our ear

Hung itself into the year.

Once we stepped into our home,

We found ourselves gasping, tearing

it off like a bandage,

Like something that gauzed

The great gape of our mouth.

Even faceless, a smile can still

Scale up our cheeks,

Bone by bone,

Our eyes crinkling

Delicately as rice paper

At some equally fragile beauty—

The warbling blues of a dog,

A squirrel venturing close,

The lilt of a beloved’s joke.

Our mask is no veil, but a view.

What are we, if not what we see in another.

 


 

SURVIVING

These words need not be red for our blood to run through them.

When tragedy threatens to end us, we are flooded by what is felt;

 

Our faces fluctuating, warped like an acre passing

Seasons. Perhaps the years are plotted & planned

 

Just like seeds in a fresh-plowed field.

When we dream, we act only with instinct.

 

We might not be fully sure of all that we are.

& yet we have endured all that we were.

 

Even now we’re shuddering:

The revelation aching.

 

It didn’t have to be this way.

In fact, it did not have to be.

 

The gone were/are no threshold,

No stepstone beneath our feet.

 

Even as they did not die

For us, we shall move for them.

 

We shall only learn when we let this loss,

Like us, sing on & on.

 


 

THE SHALLOWS

Touch-deficient &

Light-starved we were,

Like an inverted flame,

Eating any warmth down to its studs.

Th e deepest despair is ravenous,

It takes & takes & takes,

A stomach never satisfied.

This is not hyperbole.

All that is gorgeous & good & decent

Is no luxury, not when its void

Brings us to the wide wharf of war.

 

Even as we stand stone-still,

It’s with the entirety of what we’ve lost

Sweeping through us like a ghost.

 

What we have lived

Remains indecipherable.

 

& yet we remain.

& still, we write.

& so, we write.

Watch us move above the fog

Like a promontory at dusk.

Shall this leave us bitter?

Or better?

 

Grieve.

 

Then choose.

 


 

& SO

It is easy to harp,

Harder to hope.

 

This truth, like the white-blown sky,

Can only be felt in its entirety or not at all.

The glorious was not made to be piecemeal.

Despite being drenched with dread,

This dark girl still dreams.

We smile like a sun that is never shunted.

 

Grief, when it goes, does so softly,

Like the exit of that breath

We just realized we clutched.

 

Since the world is round,

Th ere is no way to walk away

From each other, for even then

We are coming back together.

 

Some distances, if allowed to grow,

Are merely the greatest proximities.

 


 

CUT

There is no simple way to hurt.

The real damage is dammed, disrupted.

:Inaudible:

We must change

This ending in every way.

* * *

Disease is physiological death,

Loneliness is a social one,

Where the old We collapses like a lung.

* * *

Some days, we just need a place

Where we can bleed in peace.

Our only word for this is

Poem.

* * *

There is no right way to say

How we have missed one another.

Some traumas flood past the body,

An ache unbordered by bone.

When we shift toward a kindred soul,

It is with the cut of all our lives.

Perhaps pain is like a name,

Made to sing just for you.

* * *

We issue an apology

From our warbling palms:

We are still hurt,

But for now, we no longer hurt

One another.

There is no meek way to mend.

You must ruin us carefully.

 

Extracted from Call Us What We Carry by Amanda Gorman.

 

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